Ties that Tether by Jane Igharo – 336 pages

ARC from Berkley and Netgalley for an honest review

Book Blurb:

At twelve years old, Azere promised her dying father she would marry a Nigerian man and preserve her culture even after emigrating to Canada. Her mother has been vigilant about helping–forcing–her to stay well within the Nigerian dating pool ever since. But when another match-made-by-mom goes wrong, Azere ends up at a bar, enjoying the company and later sharing the bed of Rafael Castellano, a man who is tall, handsome, and white. When their one-night stand unexpectedly evolves into something serious, Azere is caught between her growing feelings for Rafael and the compulsive need to please her mother who will never accept a relationship that threatens to dilute Azere’s Nigerian heritage. Azere can’t help wondering if loving Rafael makes her any less of a Nigerian. Can she be with him without compromising her identity? The answer will either cause Azere to be audacious and fight for her happiness or continue as the compliant daughter.

My Review: 4 stars

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Ties that Tether was one of those books that reminded you that we, as in all people, are more alike than we are different. Azere (love this character’s name) has been pushed to her limits by living in fear of disappointing her over-bearing mother and her deceased father. The book starts with a bang as Azere is on another fix-up that goes south before the end of the meal.

When Azere leaves her date and goes into a hotel bar, she’s struck with an alarmingly odd physical and emotional connection to a white man, which was wholly reciprocated. Therein lies the conflict of this story. As a young girl, Azere promises her mother and her father, while on his deathbed, that she will marry a Nigerian man. Their fear stems from their migration to Canada from Nigeria and the worry that she’ll forget her native roots, traditions and customs.

Through wonderful, realistic and captivating storytelling, Azere’s journey becomes our own.

Whether it’s religion, race or ethnicity, people may feel a subconscious pressure or actual pressure from family to marry within a similar “kind” of people. This book pushes you to think outside the box and see how strikingly similar these supposed differences really are. With this being the common theme throughout the book, much of what was covered deals with identity, open-mindedness, romance, mother/daughter relationships and welcoming new traditions while still honoring your own.

So glad this book came my way. It gave me a lot to think about…made me laugh and cry. If you enjoy it like I did, I suggest reading, Single Jewish Male Seeking Soul Mate. I look forward to reading more from this debut author.

Quotes I liked:

Mommy, you don’t love me enough. Your love, like your forgiveness, has conditions.”

“…truth is, love is hardly ever convenient.”

“She touches my cheek dolefully as if I’m truly being afflicted by the deadly disease: singleness.”

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