I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

I’m Fine and Neither are You by Camille Pagan – 270 pages

Book Blurb:

Wife. Mother. Breadwinner. Penelope Ruiz-Kar is doing it all—and barely keeping it together. Meanwhile, her best friend, Jenny Sweet, appears to be sailing through life. As close as the two women are, Jenny’s passionate marriage, pristine house, and ultra-polite child stand in stark contrast to Penelope’s underemployed husband, Sanjay, their unruly brood, and the daily grind she calls a career. Then a shocking tragedy reveals that Jenny’s life is far from perfect. Reeling, Penelope vows to stop keeping the peace and finally deal with the issues in her relationship. So she and Sanjay agree to a radical proposal: both will write a list of changes they want each other to make—then commit to complete and total honesty. What seems like a smart idea quickly spirals out of control, revealing new rifts and even deeper secrets. As Penelope stares down the possible implosion of her marriage, she must ask herself: When it comes to love, is honesty really the best policy?

My Review: 4 stars

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I’m Fine and Neither Are You is a smartly written book about marriage, parenting and being a working woman in today’s society. Yes, this topic has been done before, but Pagan’s take on it was wholly original and fresh.

I’m a list maker for life. I couldn’t survive without my hand written list of everything I need to do, I can’t forget and whom to call. What is not on my list? Things I’d like to change about my spouse. This book takes the reader on a reflective journey after she and her husband decide to do just this. Listen, anyone who has been a long-term relationship, married or not, knows that things can get stale; the extra effort we used to make can easily get buried under parenting, work and life. 

A tragic loss leads our main character, Penny, to reflect on her own life. Is she living her best life? What does she really want out of life? This is a common reaction when a friend, or just about anyone, passes too soon. With this comes themes of addiction, balancing work and family, the ideal of perfection, marriage, brutal honesty, personal reflection, friendship and familial relationships .

The imbalance of emotional labor between Penny and her unemployed husband Sanjay, is a main component on her list, and as expected, Sanjay would like to have more sex. This book is very relatable much due to the relatable characters that the reader unwittingly befriends. The title holds so much meaning in this novel. How many times when asked how you are, is answered with an, “I’m fine.” This story will have you pondering your personal definition of “fine” and if “fine” is good enough for you.

Quotes I liked:

Look beyond what is missing and be thankful for all that remains.” 

“It takes courage to be yourself when everyone expects you to be someone else.” 

“But something between us had shifted over the course of our marriage, particularly the last two to three years. We had gone from being lovers to best friends to . . . roommates who routinely irritated each other. If I was honest with myself, that was what it felt like most of the time.” 

“This is not a test. Life is messy and sometimes tragic and often just plain hard for a woman to weather. But when you step back for a moment, the whole of it is incredibly beautiful—and that is what we must choose to focus on.”