Wild Game: My Mother, Her Lover, and Me by Adrienne Brodeur

Wild Game: My Mother, Her Lover, and Me by Adrienne Brodeur – 256 pages

Book Blurb:

On a hot July night on Cape Cod when Adrienne was fourteen, her mother, Malabar, woke her at midnight with five simple words that would set the course of both of their lives for years to come: Ben Souther just kissed me.  Adrienne instantly became her mother’s confidante and helpmate, blossoming in the sudden light of her attention, and from then on, Malabar came to rely on her daughter to help orchestrate what would become an epic affair with her husband’s closest friend. The affair would have calamitous consequences for everyone involved, impacting Adrienne’s life in profound ways, driving her into a precarious marriage of her own, and then into a deep depression. Only years later will she find the strength to embrace her life—and her mother—on her own terms.

My Review: 4.5 stars – Guest Review

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Wild Game is a beautifully written and fascinating memoir that is compulsively readable. This book has generated a lot of publicity, as the author has appeared on many of the network talk shows. This memoir, which reads like fiction and a thriller at times, focuses on the relationship between Adrienne and her mother, Malabar, as she becomes complicit and an accomplice in keeping her mother’s affair a secret. From age 14 until well into adulthood, Adrienne did whatever was necessary to help her mother perpetuate the lie and to facilitate keeping her secret.  The author states that she was thrilled to “have landed a starring role in her mother’s drama……a role she didn’t realize she longed for until that moment.” As the author becomes an accessory to her mother’s lies, there are far reaching and disastrous consequences, including the impact these lies have on the author’s relationships, including her own marriage.  The book in part, is the author’s account of her journey to come to terms with her mother’s betrayal, and how she heals.

This book was heartbreaking. The author describes her mother as being “magnetic”.  I found the mother to be a complicated and fascinating personality, but I had no sympathy for her whatsoever. She was a self-absorbed narcissist, who caused damage to her daughter by forcing her into the role of being a parent instead of a daughter, at such a young age. I was angry at the mother for crossing the boundaries of what a parent/child relationship should be. The author stated that nothing made her feel more loved than making her mother happy. I could understand why the author went along with enabling and protecting her mother at such a young age.  On the one hand, it was difficult at times to understand how the author justified continuing to be complicit in protecting her mother when she was an adult. On the other hand, I understood that in an effort to maintain closeness with her mother, she continued to make excuses and place her mother’s needs above her own. Eventually Adrienne gains insight as to why Malabar is flawed and damaged, due to her past relationship with her own mother.   

Malabar was a trained chef and well-known food writer, so cooking and food were central to the book. There was a great deal of food imagery throughout. The author’s descriptions of Boston and Cape Cod were lovely and vivid.

The second half of this book was extremely compelling, as Adrienne finds strength through friendship and literature along her journey to self-awareness, compassion, and ultimate change. I admired her brutal honesty in this insightful memoir, when readers could be judging her for her behavior. This book helped me understand why some people who have suffered emotional abuse from parents still feel intense love for them. 

There will be lots for book clubs to discuss.  It deals with the complex bonds between mothers and daughters, and the psychological scars that can result from family dysfunction. The book will be helpful to readers who are still coming to terms with pain and damage caused by their parents. It demonstrates that it is possible for the destructive cycles of behavior that can be passed down from generation to generation can be broken.  This riveting and important memoir will stay with me a long time. It is unlike any memoir I have read before. Reportedly, the movie rights have already been purchased.  Fans of The Glass Castle and Educated will devour this book. Reviewed by Guest Fairy Ronna.

Quotes I liked:

A buried truth, that’s all a lie really is”

“Deception takes commitment, vigilance, and a very good memory. To keep the truth buried, you must tend to it.”

“Loneliness is not about how many people you have around.  It’s about whether or not you feel connected.  Whether or not you’re able to be yourself.”  …..”The lonely feeling comes from not being known.”

“Books will change your life………You have no idea how much you can learn about yourself by plunging into someone else’s life.”…….”You can read your way into a whole new narrative for yourself.”

“Books come into your life for a reason.”

“Why is it that an insult stays with you forever, whereas love and praise passes through you like water through a sieve?

“When you lie to someone you love…..let alone when you lie so often that the lie seems truer than the actual truth, you lose the only thing that matters:  the possibility of real connection.”